best bun ever

there is some place where each of us feels it. the butterflies. the wide eyed “where am i”, the deep introspective “who am i?” i am not sure where that is for you. the place that pushes you, makes you feel somehow socially awkward , a bit of a misfit. you know the spot that forces you slightly outside of your comfort zone. (as i write this i realize that perhaps my farm is the place that a lot of you would find uncomfortable, sheesh) anyway, for me, i feel it smack dab in the middle of my daughter’s beloved dance studio. and these feelings have been heightened these last few days,  the culmination of months of hard work:  the recital weekend.

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we entered the world of dance 5 years ago.  the entry was easy,  i was ushered in by my dearest teenage friends and their then professional dance mom, one of my favorite people ever. these were madeline’s first teachers, they allowed me to sit there giggling and watch the classes, the taught madeline the grace of ballet and showed me the ropes of dance momhood. heck, they did madeline’s bun and make up for me.

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each child is different and each needs us, their parents,  to honor those interests. madeline loves the stage, she thrives up there and i strive to provide her with the opportunity to grow and delight in this medium. alas, i am definitely not your traditional dance mom. it is hard for me to be authentic in that space. i feel clumsy and dirty. it is just in that environment that i have felt so odd in year’s past. this year however, we rocked it. i shed my fears, put on my best flannel and got the bun on the first try, only needed 3 bobby pins.

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you know, i think we are doing this dance pretty well, my daughter and me. we are creating our own rituals, friends come to celebrate, we dote on our favorite dancer and honor the place that has become integral in her life:   ms. adrienne’s dance studio. so, for all of you dancers and dance moms out there (traditional or not) hope your recital weeks are perfect.

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for everyone else i wish you  joyous comfort when you are most likely to feel  uncomfortable. i invite you to glory in the beauty of yourself even when those beside you don’t feel similar. for the differences in our worlds are just what make it all so lovely and full of wonder. allow yourself and your children to push outside of your familiar zone, for it is there i hope you will learn to accept yourself and others most fully.

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