day one=disaster

a week or so ago i had the most delightful pleasure of talking at length with a former hill and hollow apprentice. we spoke of the past, the present and the future. she and her partner have a farm now along with a growing posse of their own farm kids. we spoke on many topics but one keeps coming back to me, her comment on this blog. she said it was too nice. yuck. she claimed that there isn’t enough mention of the day in day out struggle of farm family life. she wondered why we didn’t delve more deeply into those awful moments, the pulling your hair out “i gotta get outta here” times.

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when my fellow farmwives and i began this project 2 years ago we made sort of a vow. we wanted this space to be one of inspiration and encouragement. we wanted to be real, but definitely didn’t want to complain. to that end, i have tried with each post to be reflective and honest.  there were many days when i was due to write my post and i felt sort of kind of frustrated with my existence. i used the time and space as an opportunity to put a positive spin on things, to sort out my emotions, get to a place where things feel better, and then write. it has been a positive exercise, truly positive.

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now, those of you that follow this blog are surely sitting at the edge of your seats knowing 2 members of my family returned to the farm after 15 days in sunny california. their homecoming was an event we looked forward to with excitement. when we greeted them at the airport it was clear my son’s transition was not going to be pretty. the reunion with paul was lovely, he was equipped with the skills to handle such a transition, but that teenager of mine, oh boy, he was clearly not able to find his place. the trip back to the farm wasn’t too bad, but his first day back, even after a long sleep in his own bed: awful. his gruff behavior and maladjusted attitude had me in tears more than once. all i could think of was how quickly can i send this kid away again?

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luckily, time eases everything and by day two all was normalized. that second evening after his homecoming, he was lying on my daughter’s lap reading a story to our youngest; about as blissful as this family can get. i could have written this post about that moment on the couch, but after talking with my friend and thinking about the guys’ return, i felt compelled to tell the tale of that awful friday:  the day nothing was right. all of those hopes and expectations were shattered in the midst of my teenager’s emotional turmoil. living with others is never easy, the ebb and flow of our own feelings are challenging enough to manage, but how about those of 4 others. of course, one of the reasons why those 15 days apart were so relaxing was the simple fact that there was less personal energy in the immediate air.

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we have settled back in, the sun still shines and my family has it’s groove back. some things have shifted and this is a good thing, for now, the sea is calm.

final photos from california, we have only one camera and it went away with the guys. it’s back too!

 

5 thoughts on “day one=disaster

  1. If I spent all of my time blogging about the negative side of what we do here at the farm I think it would come across to my readers as self-aggrandizement … don’t you think? It would come across as ‘it was tough and I prevailed.’ I think folks know that farming is tough work and full of ups and downs. I don’t see any reason to harp or otherwise highlight the downs … I don’t see how that would be constructive. Congratulations on weathering the return of your family from California … some landings are more difficult than others (been there, done that). Glad things are back to normal.

    • i agree with your comments entirely. life isn’t easy, but it’s finding the joy, the beauty and the inspiration in each day. today, here, it is all good and i wish the very same for you!

  2. I know how this feels with a teenage son, and now that mine is 21 and
    has been at college for three yrs, he is always ready to come home and
    embrace his family in love and appreciation. That is grace. It wasn’t always this way, and I am sure your son will go through more turmoils
    before he realizes how nice it is to return home. That is called “growing
    up”. Hang in there. Much love.

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