birth days

we celebrated the 4th birthday of my youngest this weekend. it is mind boggling how quickly time passes. these milestones offer us a delightful opportunity to reflect. my third child was unexpected, seriously. i had an 8 year old and an 11 year old at the time when i missed my period that lovely fall day in 2010.  i was 43 and convinced it was early menopause. it was a dear friend who suggested the other possibility. ” i am not heading into Rite Aid like a teenager looking for an EPT”  i quickly responded.

positive. what? try again. positive? are you kidding me?

i was not immediately elated. i spent a lot of my early pregnancy reading fiction and contemplating how i would handle sleep deprivation in my forties. i google searched weird topics and discovered statistically there are more unplanned pregnancies with women in their 40’s than in their teens. we settled into our unforeseen life shift and welcomed william on a rainy may day 4 years ago. he is and has always been the love child. the joy that this little guy has brought into our lives is beyond measure. you know there are some gifts so great, you can’t even plan for them.


we have been closely watching addie, our milk cow, get closer and closer to calving.  her udder kept getting larger and larger and still no calf. we walked her pasture multiple times each day. waiting. watching. wishing. she started to move so slowly, her breath started to shift and still no calf. finally friday it happened. the pull of the growing moon drew her bull calf out. he is a beauty, exhibiting the gorgeous belting of his dutch belted sire.

IMG_1677it is hard to tell what the week ahead will bring. we are in the thick of it here on the farm, truly. another birthday is around the corner, a dance recital is days away, the first CSA delivery is nestled right in there, and the temperature is starting to feel like it’s time to plant summer crops.  life is full and busy, even busier now that each day will start and end with addie. i feel so blessed though amidst this energy, for each birth reminds me of how precious life is, the milking routine steadies my days, and the cycles of life are a beautiful thing.





8 thoughts on “birth days

  1. I had a similar experience at age 42 having our son with 2 older girls 8 &12 .HE is the only grandson on my husbands side. I am so rateful he came to us but also felt “what have I done” at the time~! I was also doing CSA then . I love the photos of the cow. We have a small place less than 5 acres . I have 2 horses but no cows . I love your posts .

  2. I know many women who have welcomed a surprise child late in life, including my own mother-in-law who’s youngest came 12 years after the second youngest. She always says that while it is harder is some ways–having less energy–it is more magical in other ways because of the way age allows us to mellow and appreciate life more slowly.

    One of our does is settled and we too have been watching her daily for those kids. She seems so heavy and uncomfortable I cannot believe she is still carrying them around! But there is a wisdom at work there far beyond my own, so we will just have to be patient and wait!

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