what the seeds told me this week

seeds 1Each and every seed carries within it the code for its own doom, as well as for the perpetuation of it’s own kind.

Upon making the effort the germinate, the individual seed itself is destroyed. It’s a beautiful destruction, as it may lead to another green plant, but be it a flower, a weed, or a tree, there is a destruction involved none the less.

The beans have a particularly creative style of accomplishing their transformation, as they use the meaty part of their seeds as the cotyledons, which wilt back as the true leaves mature. Other plants leave just a little husk behind as whatever is left of the seed is absorbed into stem or root, or sloughed off.seeds 4

Seeds have no choice. Given the right circumstances – temperature, moisture, light – a seed uses its inborn vitality and makes an attempt to germinate. If it has been made to wait too long in adverse conditions, that vitality may diminish, and if the moment to sprout never comes, the seed will eventually decompose. Again, the seed’s destruction feeds the living soil.  Whenever a seed gets an opportunity, it plays its part. Even at its own expense, the seed does what it can to bring about more life in abundance.seeds 5

The seed has no housework. The seed doesn’t make apologies. The seed doesn’t juggle a busy schedule. The seed doesn’t linger with good-byes.  The seed has no choice. We do.

Change challenges us. And change is completely unavoidable. There’s something about our capacity for freedom that breeds a spirit of resistance, and attachment. But if we resist the change coming our way, we will still be changed by the very fact of our resistance. If we cling to our beautiful moments, they will never mature into the sacred mundane. If we cling to our pain, we might not find out what it was for.

Some changes are more difficult than others. We are not seeds. We choose. Every moment, we choose, to be awake to life and its changes, or sleep through it and deal with change re-actively, and in the retrospect. To take the bull by the horns, or be thrown. But we can take a lesson from the seeds. They are sprouting up all over the place right now.

The lesson is clear…

Sprout. Grow. Bloom. Set free some more seeds.  Carry on.seeds 2seeds 3

Set aside fear, and vanity.  You will never be the same.  You never were.  Don’t let your unfulfilled potential rot like a seed that never got a chance. When it’s time to grow – let grow.

It’s Life itself that is really so beautiful.seeds 6

spring cleaning

old gardenComing up on 12 years ago, we mudded in our first garden in this hollow. To our surprise, it grew well. With a little help from our friends, we had some fresh food all winter and were ready to keep growing when Spring came. Year after year, our garden grew. We grew for ourselves, for our friends and family, and then for “our people”, the share-holders in our small CSA, starting with just about ten folks. The CSA grew to forty families at its peak, then we backed off. And backed off some more. Last year, we were back to just about ten families, right here in our home county.

But this year, we are letting go.

It is not easy to let go.pretty garden

I am one of those people who wants to do everything.

I want to be involved with my children’s education, here at home. I want to grow all our food and cook great meals from scratch. I want to be a good partner to my Fellow Man, a helpful daughter, a supportive sister, a loving friend, an involved member of my community. I want to pitch in twenty bucks to protect elephants, wolves, and endangered soil micro-fauna. I want to drive people to the polls. I want to say YES to every request to teach yoga in the surrounding communities. I want to knit a sweater and crochet baby blankets. I want to stir BD preps. I want to sing in the church choir, and some rock n roll songs too. I want to share and write out what is meaningful, enjoyable, and true for whoever wants to read it. I want to live and love and enjoy this excellent opportunity at LIFE.

And, this year, we are on the brink of some big changes. We intend to build a new home on our new land and get moved. In order for that big piece of work to happen, we (I) have to let some things go, and our little CSA is one of them.

We will still grow our own food, and probably too much of it. Old habits die hard. Anyone who comes to help me weed or hoe or harvest will be sent home with plenty. But we won’t be selling baskets. My heart breaks a little bit at this reality, but like so many heartbreaks, there’s an opportunity underneath it.splash

As Spring unfurls its green fronds, this is my exploration – how to move forward in a new way. How to keep what is truly necessary and good, let go of what may also be wonderful but not so necessary right now, making room for what is on the horizon. It is not easy, but it is good work for the inside of my head and heart.  It is work best done with a pack of seeds in my pocket (just not too BIG a packet) and a hoe in my hands.

However Spring comes in your neck of the woods – I hope you have good work, too.first daffodil

what love looks like right now.

love right now greensThe Earth’s green skin is thickening up.  Sometimes, it looks like a green haze rising up from the ground.  Everyone is quickening.  Sometimes at night when I go out to lock up the chickens and look at the sky for a minute, I can hear the craw-dads working with the water and mud under the field.  The flashlight beam catching the shiny eyes of spiders on the move again, hunting their tiny prey in the dark.  In the mornings, the birds songs have changed. They have more to talk about now, I suppose.  It’s all very beautiful.  It’s Spring.

Winter looks like it is holding still – but it isn’t.  It’s like sleeping.  There’s lots of activity, just a different sort, under the surface.love right now pepper levon

We fall into bed at the end of these busy spring days.  Our skin radiates the warmth we collected all day in the sun.  We have the kind of inevitable blisters that come before the callouses shape up.  Our muscles are sore and our minds are tired.love right now running

But when we wake on a Spring morning, we are restored.  The rough patches on our skin have diminished.  We are hungry, for breakfast, and the day ahead.  The tick-tock of the to-do list comes back to mind and we are set into motion for another day.  Spring, unfolding its wings from its own winter’s sleep, is upon us.love right now onion

All this, the beauty, the sore muscles, the busy minds, the bees and birdsong, the seeds, the sun and rain, the changes, the transition – can be as exhausting as it is wonderful.  But our best hope is to embrace it.  This is what love looks like right now.love right now wowee