it’s about time

cavernWhat is time?  What is time for?

The measurement of a breath, the space between breaths.

Sleeping, waking, toil, and play.

The passage of a season in planting, tending, harvesting, and preservation.

The celebration of birthdays, holidays, moments of intensity.

The currency of our lives.

In the time it took for me to mulch my tomatoes, a family of sparrows hatched and fledged from an abandoned harvest basket on our porch.  The sparrows and I were busy with the same work – toiling with the materials at hand in an effort to feed our families.  The sparrow children grew up faster than ours, though some days, it feels like it may have just been a week ago that ours were born, too.cute kids

Time stretches and contracts.  It is constant but not consistent.

Once I heard my Tibetan Buddhist friends say that time is our own creation.

They weren’t talking about creation in the Biblical sense, of dividing the day and night. They were talking, as they often did, about perception, and our perception of time. In this age, when busy-ness is glorified and nearly inescapable, it’s worth consideration.

If we didn’t create the way we look at time – who did? If we didn’t decide how to use our precious time – who does? Who tells us whether “time is short” or “we have all the time in the world”? We do. We learn it early on, from others who have learned before us. And we are given training in schools to unify our perceptions and hustle when the bell rings, regardless of the task at hand. We are not taught to question this perception, and it takes a substantial degree of study and reflection to re-train these perceptive reflexes. Here lately I’m thinking it’s a worthy effort.

There are never enough hours in my day. I’ve heard myself say and think that phrase over and over. How exhausting!  It’s high time to break that habit.  Not that I will all of a sudden get everything done that I hoped to do in a day, but maybe I will be relaxed about the fact that my life is full.  It’s full of beauty, food, friends and family.  Full to bursting with the stuff of life and love.  What is time for but to love?

Last year, as we tapered off our writing habits, it felt like there was just too much going on to be able to write about it and be honest. And of course there wasn’t time.

Now, it feels like there’s too much going on, and to NOT write about it wouldn’t be honest. There’s no more or less time than ever. But I have missed this place to share thoughts at hand, visions, the beauty of life out here, so I’m choosing to take the time.

Because, this is another important thing that time is for – sharing.geese and girls

 

spring cleaning

old gardenComing up on 12 years ago, we mudded in our first garden in this hollow. To our surprise, it grew well. With a little help from our friends, we had some fresh food all winter and were ready to keep growing when Spring came. Year after year, our garden grew. We grew for ourselves, for our friends and family, and then for “our people”, the share-holders in our small CSA, starting with just about ten folks. The CSA grew to forty families at its peak, then we backed off. And backed off some more. Last year, we were back to just about ten families, right here in our home county.

But this year, we are letting go.

It is not easy to let go.pretty garden

I am one of those people who wants to do everything.

I want to be involved with my children’s education, here at home. I want to grow all our food and cook great meals from scratch. I want to be a good partner to my Fellow Man, a helpful daughter, a supportive sister, a loving friend, an involved member of my community. I want to pitch in twenty bucks to protect elephants, wolves, and endangered soil micro-fauna. I want to drive people to the polls. I want to say YES to every request to teach yoga in the surrounding communities. I want to knit a sweater and crochet baby blankets. I want to stir BD preps. I want to sing in the church choir, and some rock n roll songs too. I want to share and write out what is meaningful, enjoyable, and true for whoever wants to read it. I want to live and love and enjoy this excellent opportunity at LIFE.

And, this year, we are on the brink of some big changes. We intend to build a new home on our new land and get moved. In order for that big piece of work to happen, we (I) have to let some things go, and our little CSA is one of them.

We will still grow our own food, and probably too much of it. Old habits die hard. Anyone who comes to help me weed or hoe or harvest will be sent home with plenty. But we won’t be selling baskets. My heart breaks a little bit at this reality, but like so many heartbreaks, there’s an opportunity underneath it.splash

As Spring unfurls its green fronds, this is my exploration – how to move forward in a new way. How to keep what is truly necessary and good, let go of what may also be wonderful but not so necessary right now, making room for what is on the horizon. It is not easy, but it is good work for the inside of my head and heart.  It is work best done with a pack of seeds in my pocket (just not too BIG a packet) and a hoe in my hands.

However Spring comes in your neck of the woods – I hope you have good work, too.first daffodil

right now :: good finds

Cleaning up a pile of papers by my side of the desk, I ran into this jewel of a story, which I transcribed from the mouth of my then four year old daughter:

“So, this Unicorn has born before everything else, even before Hansel and Gretel, a long long time ago.  She didn’t even need a mom or dad, she just came out of her own belly and she could take care of herself.  She was the first creature.

She walked around looking at things, and then she walked into the jungle where Mowgli lived.  First she didn’t recognize him, then she did.  She and Mowgli made friends.

One day Mowgli realized she wanted him to j

ump onto her back, and when he did, she ran off, out of the jungle, and all the buffalos followed, and they ran out into the hills, and then they were tired, so Mowgli stretched out his feet and they rested.

The Unicorn and Mowgli went all around the world.  They could hardly stop.  They were going so fast Mowgli could hardly see anything.  They only stopped when they needed to eat or sleep. 

When they saw clouds puffed up they knew it was going to rain.  They ran so fast so the rain couldn’t get them.”

thanks colleen stewart for capturing that moment.

thanks colleen stewart for capturing that moment.  pokeberry eggplant delight.